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Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML
Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML
Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML
Friday 19 December 2014