Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cobra_comm

Online | Search for a member

cobra_comm

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2351
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cobra_comm's page activity

Visits<b>izzy03281</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:17pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 5:44pm<b>free_a_nipper</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 4:03am<b>umad12345</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 4:17am<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 2:08am<b>josh8215</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 3:05am<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 3:02pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 10:49am<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:24pm

cobra_comm's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cobra_comm's badges

cobra_comm's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44983) - you deserved it (14680) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52345) - you deserved it (18540)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

#21044284
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43558) - you deserved it (6763)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by CUNTCUNTCUNT (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42648) - you deserved it (10973)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41420) - you deserved it (12493)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43776) - you deserved it (6733)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51387) - you deserved it (5820)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." 5ML

#21038360
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45771) - you deserved it (11475)

On 01/24/2014 at 3:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (4608)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

#21035364
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50455) - you deserved it (5554)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm - love - by FacebookStrikesAgain (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

#21035329
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51276) - you deserved it (10099)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by MM - United States (Maine)

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

#21034982
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42743) - you deserved it (7043)

On 01/21/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by idiot says pussy (man) - United States

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51619) - you deserved it (11561)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: