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cobra_comm

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cobra_comm

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  • Number of visits : 2172
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>izzy03281</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:17pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 5:44pm<b>free_a_nipper</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 4:03am<b>umad12345</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 4:17am<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 2:08am<b>josh8215</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 3:05am<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 3:02pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 10:49am<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:24pm

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cobra_comm's favorite FMLs

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49731) - you deserved it (8430)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56749) - you deserved it (5516)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

#20817205
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46374) - you deserved it (25289)

On 08/02/2013 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by fuck but no fuck (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

#20816836
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50897) - you deserved it (5565)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:53am - love - by tkghan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

#20816365
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54332) - you deserved it (5764)

On 08/02/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51705) - you deserved it (11172)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

#20815203
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53000) - you deserved it (3496)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67342) - you deserved it (5809)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58297) - you deserved it (10384)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

#20814477
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49844) - you deserved it (3679)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62316) - you deserved it (5414)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61229) - you deserved it (9116)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41493) - you deserved it (2759)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56121) - you deserved it (9312)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

#20805096
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28457) - you deserved it (65180)

On 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm - love - by i suck, this i know :( (man) - Malawi (Blantyre)



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