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cobra_comm

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cobra_comm

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  • Number of visits : 2930
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>izzy03281</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:17pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 5:44pm<b>free_a_nipper</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 4:03am<b>umad12345</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 4:17am<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 2:08am<b>josh8215</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 3:05am<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 3:02pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 10:49am<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:24pm

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cobra_comm's favorite FMLs

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49056) - you deserved it (2514)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42370) - you deserved it (4699)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45255) - you deserved it (19245)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49953) - you deserved it (5699)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

#20864381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59906) - you deserved it (6152)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by yourfault (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53993) - you deserved it (6880)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41729) - you deserved it (3668)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (65441)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

#20861652
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37358) - you deserved it (8581)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43104) - you deserved it (7344)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43332) - you deserved it (2522)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you deserved it (2591)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59788) - you deserved it (6646)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

#20859311
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53926) - you deserved it (6040)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML



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