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cobra_comm's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
cobra_comm's favorite FMLs
Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML
by failure / 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by Sleepy head / 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML
by okaythen / 10/04/2013 at 5:37am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love
by EconM / 10/03/2013 at 11:38am / United States / Intimacy
by Sooz / 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by whatdoesitmatter / 10/01/2013 at 6:47am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Intimacy
by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by blackcat37 / 09/28/2013 at 6:53am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML
by Abcporn / 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 12:57am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML
by TaraBURGER / 09/17/2013 at 3:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…
- Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, my boyfriend told me we were going on a trip to Venice. Seeing my reaction, he immediately…