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cobra_comm

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cobra_comm

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  • Number of visits : 2013
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>izzy03281</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:17pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 5:44pm<b>free_a_nipper</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 4:03am<b>umad12345</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 4:17am<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 2:08am<b>josh8215</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 3:05am<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 3:02pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 10:49am<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:24pm

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cobra_comm's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39052) - you deserved it (6776)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41347) - you deserved it (13421)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43861) - you deserved it (6831)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43092) - you deserved it (6999)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33773) - you deserved it (22463)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51842) - you deserved it (5975)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46209) - you deserved it (4046)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46020) - you deserved it (8301)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51993) - you deserved it (16821)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

#21185172
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40069) - you deserved it (4824)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56am - kids - by kennyjhynes (man) - United States

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42491) - you deserved it (4393)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45242) - you deserved it (4704)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48991) - you deserved it (13664)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)



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