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cobra_comm

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  • Number of visits : 1856
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>izzy03281</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:17pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 5:44pm<b>free_a_nipper</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 4:03am<b>umad12345</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 4:17am<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 2:08am<b>josh8215</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 3:05am<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 3:02pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 10:49am<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:24pm

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cobra_comm's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45783) - you deserved it (3678)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing hysterically, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45566) - you deserved it (7920)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51244) - you deserved it (16382)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

#21185172
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39150) - you deserved it (4458)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56am - kids - by kennyjhynes (man) - United States

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41904) - you deserved it (4125)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44366) - you deserved it (4567)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (13123)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54384) - you deserved it (4293)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML

#21176835
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44941) - you deserved it (8543)

On 06/16/2014 at 2:50pm - misc - by FMeeee (woman) - Portugal (Aveiro)

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

#21175899
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43207) - you deserved it (4844)

On 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm - work - by caleighrossi - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41905) - you deserved it (4727)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

#21165255
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53835) - you deserved it (8359)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

#21162704
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49353) - you deserved it (6559)

On 06/04/2014 at 11:52am - intimacy - by Justawoman (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

#21156317
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46597) - you deserved it (3927)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm - love - by jonchavez - United States (Kentucky)



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