Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

claudio117

Offline (the 12/18/2014 at 8:01pm) | Search for a member

claudio117

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1271
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 15 posted

About claudio117 : FML

claudio117's page activity

Visits<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:53pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 3:23am<b>mip_92</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 5:00pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:13am<b>SandyBella</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:45am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 2:08pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:53pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:22am<b>PHILLIESFAN77</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:56am<b>horsehaed7</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 3:22pm<b>MzDisturbedOne</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 2:43am<b>Josiiee</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 7:15pm<b>Mexicandruglord</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 5:58pm<b>happygolucky97</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 10:00am<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 1:12am<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 6:27am<b>annabanana0328</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 7:01am<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 3:33am

claudio117's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of claudio117's badges

claudio117's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37311) - you deserved it (2652)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31848) - you deserved it (5285)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41026) - you deserved it (2736)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42798) - you deserved it (10938)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

#21134481
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46936) - you deserved it (6321)

On 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm - kids - by imnotastranger (man) -

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42498) - you deserved it (5553)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47317) - you deserved it (2977)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42557) - you deserved it (4264)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41826) - you deserved it (7457)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

#21052943
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43819) - you deserved it (15691)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by cryface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54606) - you deserved it (6722)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

#20963219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44054) - you deserved it (2498)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML

Today, I got an angry call to the phone shop where I work. The caller demanded that we give him his money back. His reason? He said he'd been tricked because his phone got ruined by water "even though he was using the waterproof application". FML

#20960536
71 comments


Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: