cjon

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cjon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 August 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1763
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 53 posted

About cjon : Hate life

cjon's FML badges

Mobility

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cjon's favorite FMLs

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

by iliketoastalot / 08/09/2011 at 1:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

by SCREWED / 07/15/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML

by Boo / 07/14/2011 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML

by Stacy / 07/05/2011 at 12:04am / United States / Work

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

by MegaBear / 06/15/2011 at 1:46am / United States / Work

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

by Jon / 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

by phoenix101 / 05/16/2011 at 1:40am / Intimacy

Today, my dad went through my room while I was out and threw away the "inappropriate pictures" that he found. They're the nudes I've been working on for art class. FML

by OhGreat / 04/30/2011 at 4:30pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 9:56am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

by Jonathan / 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm / Denmark (Midtjyllen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

by dizzy / 03/07/2011 at 2:28am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill". He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

by Dean Heffern / 02/22/2011 at 9:28am / Work