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cjon

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cjon
  • Town/Country : berlin, ct, USA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 August 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 611
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 53 posted

About cjon : Hate life

cjon's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cjon's favorite FMLs

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18678) - you deserved it (39368)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

#17418352
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (4034)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by iliketoastalot - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

#17117147
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33855) - you deserved it (3127)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML

#17104871
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19363) - you deserved it (7854)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by Boo (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML

#16980115
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30209) - you deserved it (7315)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:04am - work - by Stacy - United States

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33731) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

#16313675
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33771) - you deserved it (8313)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Jon - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59362) - you deserved it (9354)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (58351)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, my dad went through my room while I was out and threw away the "inappropriate pictures" that he found. They're the nudes I've been working on for art class. FML

#15992331
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (4602)

On 04/30/2011 at 4:30pm - misc - by OhGreat - United States (Washington)

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

#15932623
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18849) - you deserved it (43296)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (47499)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

#15370334
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39589) - you deserved it (8929)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

#15226088
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37585) - you deserved it (5364)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by dizzy (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill". He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

#15076677
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26025) - you deserved it (3518)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:28am - work - by Dean Heffern -



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