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cjon

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cjon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 August 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 697
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 53 posted

About cjon : Hate life

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cjon's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42867) - you deserved it (4394)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49095) - you deserved it (46215)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10975) - you deserved it (87245)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

#18402920
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20236) - you deserved it (5139)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was eating cereal while absentmindedly reading the box. I was amused when I found it expires on my birthday. Then I realized it expired on my birthday two years ago. FML

#18286852
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15223) - you deserved it (24171)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by jerdub93 - United States (California)

Today, I got married. About five minutes after I got my huge wedding dress on, I had to pee. It took three people to help me not pee on my dress, and my bridesmaids took pictures. FML

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37262) - you deserved it (7464)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

#18034396
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31517) - you deserved it (8923)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm - health - by box bulge - China

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

#17950170
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (2600)

On 10/10/2011 at 4:29am - health - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19868) - you deserved it (43629)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

#17761753
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38190) - you deserved it (4588)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39828) - you deserved it (27357)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML

#17679142
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9723) - you deserved it (24218)

On 09/06/2011 at 8:07am - misc - by NotKeithRichards - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

#17617365
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22540) - you deserved it (2364)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by SinkyBalls - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

#17576599
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31070) - you deserved it (4002)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)



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