cjon

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cjon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 August 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1204
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 53 posted

About cjon : Hate life

cjon's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cjon's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

by me / 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

by DarkDolly / 02/04/2012 at 11:39am / France / Transportation

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2012 at 6:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

by Ouch / 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

by Ouch / 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

by suffersecks / 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML

by Emily27 / 01/20/2012 at 6:56am / United Kingdom (East Lothian) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

by anonymous / 01/20/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me with a message that I had to pay $1 to see. FML

by Alejandroc / 01/19/2012 at 8:46pm / Honduras (Cortes) / Love

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

by hurts.to.pee / 01/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States / Health

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached my goal weight. I excitedly told my boyfriend, and he responded, "Yeah, that's nice, but now your tits are tiny". FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 8:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

by Crashburn / 01/16/2012 at 6:09am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love