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cjon

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cjon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 826
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 53 posted

About cjon : Hate life

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cjon's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

#19764297
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24873) - you deserved it (2650)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by eddie818 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15609) - you deserved it (41743)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

#19756840
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23205) - you deserved it (2021)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm - love - by SprinklerDodger (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

#19749862
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34106) - you deserved it (5811)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (9251)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)

Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13791) - you deserved it (40534)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

#19409993
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8808) - you deserved it (37140)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at a store, my stuttering problem became so bad the poor store clerk had to supply my own words for me. FML

#19397276
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20513) - you deserved it (1627)

On 04/02/2012 at 8:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24370) - you deserved it (2207)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML

#19221351
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7231) - you deserved it (65896)

On 03/05/2012 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to explain to a cop that the reason I was speeding was because my girlfriend was in the hospital due to a car accident. He was working the accident just ten minutes before and saw me leave behind the ambulance. He still gave me a ticket. FML

#19181816
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (6020)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:10pm - misc - by KidJwal - United States

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24996) - you deserved it (2839)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML

#18993154
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6926) - you deserved it (30271)

On 02/04/2012 at 3:22pm - misc - by Courtney - Reserved



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