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cjon

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cjon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 788
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 53 posted

About cjon : Hate life

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cjon's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18462) - you deserved it (1504)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

#20157954
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25511) - you deserved it (1293)

On 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Me - United States

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39984) - you deserved it (1822)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

#20154873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28299) - you deserved it (1866)

On 11/08/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by mayerstexmex69 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

#20153506
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (3904)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm - work - by Owen - Canada (Alberta)

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

#20153273
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20323) - you deserved it (2037)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36735) - you deserved it (3630)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML

#20148960
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28573) - you deserved it (3721)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

#20146867
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (4732)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:55am - intimacy - by screwed - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. It would have been great if he weren't drunk with a naked girl next to him. FML

#20146861
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27428) - you deserved it (1933)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:50am - love - by bigbum - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25360) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

#20146224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (6841)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33545) - you deserved it (3531)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23550) - you deserved it (1720)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

#20145433
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37252) - you deserved it (2951)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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