About cjon : Hate life
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cjon's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML
by KtSue / 11/12/2012 at 12:25am / United States / Health
Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML
by Me / 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm / United States / Transportation
by SebastianMiko / 11/09/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by mayerstexmex69 / 11/08/2012 at 10:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Owen / 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/07/2012 at 10:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
by sadness1992 / 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by HappinessOrOrgasms / 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
by screwed / 11/04/2012 at 4:55am / United States / Intimacy
by bigbum / 11/04/2012 at 4:50am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by PleaseDontBeSerious / 11/04/2012 at 1:30am / Canada / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by xXfloatingshitlogXx / 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous
by heartbroke / 11/03/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…