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cjon

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cjon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 898
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 53 posted

About cjon : Hate life

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cjon's favorite FMLs

TODAY, MAH HUSBAND DISCOVERED POKING ME IN MAH BELLY BUTTON MAKES ME HAVE TO PEE, SOMETIME IT'S UNCONTROLLABLE AN HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY. HE THINK IT'S HILARIOU AN DECIDED IT'S HIS NEW FAVORITE GAME. FML

#20186585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (2594)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyd, I turnd around and rantd about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explaind that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. mega FML

#20183504
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8507) - you deserved it (84720)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, I'm Recovering In The Emergency Room . How Did I Get Here? Intoxicated At A Coed Party, I Saw A Hole In The Host's Shed An Thought It Funny To Christen It A "glory-hole", Only To Be Bitten Byhat May Well Have Been A Black Widow Spider . FML

#20182587
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6416) - you deserved it (43336)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today I took a pregnancy test . When I saw that the result was positive I started crying and showed mah mom . She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test . real FML

#20177960
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8520) - you deserved it (32604)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a wipped cream bra wit cerry nipples, captioned, ( I ope you enjoyed your dinner, now ow about some dessert??? ) I meant to send it to ma fiancé. I sent it by mistake to ma dad. FML

#20176010
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18504) - you deserved it (44402)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today.. . while at school.. . a bra fell out of my coat . After the initial shock.. . people startd congratulating me on finally getting a grlfriend . I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's . FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25072) - you deserved it (3430)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

I Was Blessd With A Girlfriend Who Loves Giving Blowjobs!! And Cursd With A Girlfriend Who Is Also Somehow Really Bad At Them!! FML

#20174308
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32133) - you deserved it (8136)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18800) - you deserved it (16341)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

YESTERDAY, JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO ORGASM, MY BOYFRIEND WHISPERED, "CUM, MY PRECIOUSSSSS" INTO MY EAR, IN HIS SCARILY ACCURATE GOLLUM VOICE. I THINK MY CLITORIS JUST ABOUT WITHERED AWAY IN DESPAIR. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36018) - you deserved it (3664)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

TODAY, WAS THE DAY MY GIRLFRIEND AND I TRIED TO 69 FOR THE FIRST TIME!! TODAY IS ALSO THE DAY I LEARNED THAT I'M PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF MAINTAINING AN ERECTION AFTER SOMEONE FARTS IN MY FACE!! FML

#20163281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49450) - you deserved it (6256)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received mah first ever hand-job!! It would have been great if she didn't wipe it acros mah facehen I had finished and storm out of the room!! mega FML

today I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout mah childhood is actually the sound mah mom makes when she comes!! FML

#20160628
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (2720)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to fine that while I was passd out someone stole mah prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (6048)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

today mah boyfriend of three yeres, whom I recently got engagd to, askd me to take a photo of mah mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see wat mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30093) - you deserved it (3473)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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