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About cjon : Hate life
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyd, I turnd around and rantd about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explaind that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. mega FML
Today, I'm Recovering In The Emergency Room . How Did I Get Here? Intoxicated At A Coed Party, I Saw A Hole In The Host's Shed An Thought It Funny To Christen It A "glory-hole", Only To Be Bitten Byhat May Well Have Been A Black Widow Spider . FML
Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a wipped cream bra wit cerry nipples, captioned, ( I ope you enjoyed your dinner, now ow about some dessert??? ) I meant to send it to ma fiancé. I sent it by mistake to ma dad. FML
Today.. . while at school.. . a bra fell out of my coat . After the initial shock.. . people startd congratulating me on finally getting a grlfriend . I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's . FML
Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML
YESTERDAY, JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO ORGASM, MY BOYFRIEND WHISPERED, "CUM, MY PRECIOUSSSSS" INTO MY EAR, IN HIS SCARILY ACCURATE GOLLUM VOICE. I THINK MY CLITORIS JUST ABOUT WITHERED AWAY IN DESPAIR. FML
today mah boyfriend of three yeres, whom I recently got engagd to, askd me to take a photo of mah mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see wat mine would look like when I got older. FML
Friday 27 March 2015