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cjon

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cjon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 August 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 693
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 53 posted

About cjon : Hate life

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cjon's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33549) - you deserved it (3063)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37925) - you deserved it (4781)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46271) - you deserved it (7913)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32998) - you deserved it (8272)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27509) - you deserved it (3522)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

#20417856
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (4055)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35959) - you deserved it (5080)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48534) - you deserved it (6155)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30539) - you deserved it (7991)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (1637)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31475) - you deserved it (6229)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

#20195064
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33864) - you deserved it (1849)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38576) - you deserved it (3144)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30591) - you deserved it (3784)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



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