Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

citruslime

Search for a member

citruslime

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 812
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About citruslime : ;D

citruslime's page activity

Visits<b>Ryan8878</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:53am<b>Xtraxt</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:25pm<b>tonyromoy</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:59pm<b>Sp1k3FML</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:52am<b>orbit</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 7:31pm<b>chipsahoycookies</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:01am<b>azamanees</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 2:27pm<b>evan_r</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 8:06pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 7:20pm<b>erinblackk</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 10:52am<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 7:48am<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 1:30pm<b>Paradoxxxx</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 5:43pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 6:12am<b>ChrisPavs</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 1:59pm<b>DWordHead16</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 3:04pm<b>awkwardology</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:02am<b>TinyAsianMan</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 10:51pm

citruslime's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

citruslime's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21745) - you deserved it (12203)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31751) - you deserved it (27430)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12377) - you deserved it (32563)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (7709)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25507) - you deserved it (15911)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11438) - you deserved it (88868)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29277) - you deserved it (5983)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33321) - you deserved it (16804)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29550) - you deserved it (8250)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34652) - you deserved it (3449)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38037) - you deserved it (3356)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30628) - you deserved it (2798)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40236) - you deserved it (6212)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51170) - you deserved it (4741)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: