citruslime

Search for a member

citruslime

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1096
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About citruslime : ;D

citruslime's page activity

Visits<b>Ajwc95</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 12:39am<b>fishbones100</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 1:09am<b>grigri75</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 1:02am<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 1:31am<b>RichJBVCC</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 8:49am<b>fairy0spirit</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:30am<b>MannyM</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 12:23pm<b>BigLeem</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 9:49am<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:35pm<b>imafan123</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:36am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 2:10am<b>rlak111</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Redskin9999</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:54am<b>jake131000</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 7:38pm<b>Ryan8878</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:53am<b>Xtraxt</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:25pm<b>tonyromoy</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:59pm<b>Sp1k3FML</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:52am

Fucked!<b>rlak111</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 9:23pm

citruslime's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

citruslime's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

by belieber101 / 03/17/2012 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

by GingerJ / 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

by reallyman__639 / 12/13/2011 at 7:26am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

by myasshurts / 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

by ohgodwhy / 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

by butimarealbear / 07/13/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous