Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

circayouandme

Search for a member

circayouandme

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 97989
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About circayouandme : last.fm/user/circayouandme
twitter.com/innajiffy
http://escapiiist.stumbleupon.com/

So it's pretty obvious I'm hooked on FML. Misery loves company! Ha ha! FML! FYL! FAOLs! (fock all our lives)

circayouandme's page activity

Visits<b>tommyresnick</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:35am<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:19pm<b>Mr_Ziza</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:27pm<b>vitags</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:08pm<b>kellyb1094</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:24am<b>Matthew86</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:42pm<b>Taira_Yuzuki</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:44pm<b>The_Pug_Factory</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:28pm<b>JonD63</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:32pm<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:32pm<b>M4tr1x</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:37pm<b>marinade18</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 12:48am<b>Smilebeautiful26</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 5:20pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 12:50pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 2:08am<b>cub31</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:22pm<b>dynojay</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 5:04pm<b>WellThenNow</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 3:11pm

circayouandme's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

circayouandme's favorite FMLs

Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML

#2044978
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9248) - you deserved it (48556)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04am - work - by hipthrustdude (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML

#2043570
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57129) - you deserved it (3251)

On 05/18/2009 at 4:48am - health - by esk (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

#2042132
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37469) - you deserved it (21740)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

#2037920
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47643) - you deserved it (9748)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you deserved it (141516)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

#2018927
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13540) - you deserved it (96205)

On 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56966) - you deserved it (21402)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went shopping with my sister. Looking for something to say, I told her how one of my friends had been burgled. Then I realised it was Bree on Desperate Housewives. FML

#2010345
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15715) - you deserved it (55904)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML

#2008725
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61458) - you deserved it (18258)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28831) - you deserved it (85890)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

#2004555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60920) - you deserved it (5605)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:46am - work - by sonofmilf (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML

#2001814
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46977) - you deserved it (7821)

On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in order to look nice for a date, I tried the new blue mouthwash that turns plaque blue so you know where to brush. I couldn't get all the blue. FML

#1986687
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17435) - you deserved it (43416)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Ricky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

#1976392
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45056) - you deserved it (8825)

On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

#1973147
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50657) - you deserved it (5808)

On 05/16/2009 at 7:26am - kids - by badmom101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: