About circayouandme : last.fm/user/circayouandme
twitter.com/innajiffy
http://escapiiist.stumbleupon.com/
So it's pretty obvious I'm hooked on FML. Misery loves company! Ha ha! FML! FYL! FAOLs! (fock all our lives)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34671) - you deserved it (4092)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:22am - kids - by BeatenUpPup (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7514) - you deserved it (37004)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:04am - work - by hipthrustdude (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51327) - you deserved it (2868)
On 05/18/2009 at 4:48am - health - by esk (man) - China (Shanghai)
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31888) - you deserved it (16913)
On 05/18/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41491) - you deserved it (7697)
On 05/18/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24550) - you deserved it (106537)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10179) - you deserved it (74885)
On 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49705) - you deserved it (17146)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went shopping with my sister. Looking for something to say, I told her how one of my friends had been burgled. Then I realised it was Bree on Desperate Housewives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13168) - you deserved it (43696)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)
Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53754) - you deserved it (12787)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24318) - you deserved it (67675)
On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52172) - you deserved it (4039)
On 05/17/2009 at 1:46am - work - by sonofmilf (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40688) - you deserved it (6043)
On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I decided to try the new agent cool blue mouthwash that turns plaque blue so you know where to brush to look nice for my date. I couldn't get all the blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14508) - you deserved it (39020)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Ricky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38399) - you deserved it (6781)
On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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