last.fm/user/circayouandme
twitter.com/innajiffy
http://escapiiist.stumbleupon.com/
So it's pretty obvious I'm hooked on FML. Misery loves company! Ha ha! FML! FYL! FAOLs! (fock all our lives)
Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on aim, I noticed one of his friends away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said "I can't believe what I stick my d... In sometimes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you totally deserved it (6896)
On 07/01/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Bulldogs09 - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32836) - you totally deserved it (5390)
On 06/23/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Jerf (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49039) - you totally deserved it (4812)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself "what the hell is solid water??". Then I heard my little cousin say "ice". I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9775) - you totally deserved it (39898)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37749) - you totally deserved it (2053)
On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, was my birthday. After hinting for almost 2 months for a Wii, my dad pulls out a shiny new Wii Package. The only problem? The box didn't have a Wii in it. My dad gave me a Wii box with my VCR inside and a note saying "This is life. Once you think you're happy, someone crushes it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (59032) - you totally deserved it (4131)
On 06/23/2009 at 4:01am - misc - by Mullbull (man) - United States
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30653) - you totally deserved it (2298)
On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38303) - you totally deserved it (3712)
On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, a car floated slowly into my lane from the left with no signal. She gazed at the right turn like it was going to kiss her. "What the FUCK, lady?" I shouted, slamming on my brakes. Two seconds later I hear a tiny voice in my back seat, "What fut, YADY?!" My 22 month old son's first full sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12656) - you totally deserved it (39574)
On 06/22/2009 at 1:30am - kids - by ObeyTheFist (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you totally deserved it (10840)
On 06/22/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by FathersDay (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5836) - you totally deserved it (35528)
On 06/21/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by TheFlash (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43768) - you totally deserved it (1753)
On 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by oldtimerclark - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5489) - you totally deserved it (39289)
On 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by creepyeyes (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24577) - you totally deserved it (9451)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:03pm - kids - by vballqt201 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I came home from an amazing cruise to find that my house broken into. My best friend apparently decided to invite her drug addicted friends into my home while I was away where they stole 172$ and my migraine pills, which are non-refillable. I now have a migraine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32872) - you totally deserved it (2942)
On 06/21/2009 at 3:09am - money - by myheadhurts (man) - United States (California)
