Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

chaos212

Search for a member

chaos212
  • Town/Country : Providence, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 June 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 988
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About chaos212 : What more can I say?

chaos212's last visitors

seamonkeysFreezesugarnspiceeSapphireSympathynerdsgetmehotlmc94Lisa_Gaskarthtalun

chaos212's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of chaos212's badges

chaos212's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28308) - you deserved it (10640)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

#14969181
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27460) - you deserved it (2679)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:11am - misc - by TheKingDavis (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44130) - you deserved it (8917)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (44649)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

#14967692
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29183) - you deserved it (2228)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Roxas (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12421) - you deserved it (45488)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

#14962241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26137) - you deserved it (2255)

On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

#14960685
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37316) - you deserved it (2567)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm - love - by Saberwolf (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered out of the 20 job applications only one job called me for an interview. They told me to leave after two sentences. FML

#14954069
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22186) - you deserved it (7437)

On 02/13/2011 at 12:31am - work - by jobless - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML

#14950159
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25055) - you deserved it (14230)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML

#14944563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9837) - you deserved it (36813)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

#14944090
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (4001)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

#14943630
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53493) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in an effort to make new friends in my history class, I sat in the empty seat next to a friendly-looking guy. He got up, walked away, and sat down in a different seat. FML

#14938952
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29559) - you deserved it (3544)

On 02/11/2011 at 7:08pm - misc - by loner - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: