chaos212

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chaos212

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 June 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1908
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About chaos212 : What more can I say?

chaos212's page activity

Visits<b>seamonkeys</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 1:23am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:40pm<b>anquilla</b> - the 06/15/2011 at 5:21am<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 06/11/2011 at 11:30am<b>SapphireSympathy</b> - the 05/14/2011 at 2:18pm<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 02/15/2011 at 6:17pm<b>notverycreative5</b> - the 02/15/2011 at 3:04pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/13/2011 at 2:40pm<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 2:07am<b>Lisa_Gaskarth</b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:09am<b>ColdBlackLies</b> - the 01/10/2011 at 1:01am<b>talun</b> - the 01/08/2011 at 10:43am

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chaos212's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

by mark / 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

by Alfie4 / 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2012 at 11:36am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Work

Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML

by DamnDogs / 03/05/2012 at 5:28am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I defended the dried up things in the cup noodles as being real vegetables, just so that it would appear that I do actually eat vegetables. FML

by Nope / 03/05/2012 at 4:42am / China / Health

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

by cero_kewl / 03/05/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

by wtbfiber / 03/05/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Health

Today, I had to ask my mum not to meditate while driving. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 7:59pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

by stuff2710 / 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

by breebree-0 / 03/04/2012 at 2:36pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

by raven_teen_titan / 03/04/2012 at 12:51am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

by Autocorrected / 03/04/2012 at 12:02am / Philippines (Bulacan) / Love

Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML

by mexicandelicacy / 03/03/2012 at 10:09pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous