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chaos212's favorite FMLs
by Alex / 03/06/2012 at 7:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by laviestpasimal / 03/06/2012 at 7:14pm / France / Work
by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 2:54pm / United States / Animals
Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML
by Tommy / 03/06/2012 at 1:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by sdk2010 / 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by biggirlsdocry / 03/06/2012 at 8:56am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by beernuts / 03/06/2012 at 6:53am / United States / Health
by FootyFoot / 03/06/2012 at 6:50am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML
by Shan007tjuuh / 03/06/2012 at 3:57am / Netherlands / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
by BlueBirdWings / 03/06/2012 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML
by dragynfyre / 03/06/2012 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Work
by goldfish / 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML
by asdfBUTT / 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…