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chaos212's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Alex / 03/06/2012 at 7:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by laviestpasimal / 03/06/2012 at 7:14pm / France / Work
by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 2:54pm / United States / Animals
Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML
by Tommy / 03/06/2012 at 1:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by sdk2010 / 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by biggirlsdocry / 03/06/2012 at 8:56am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by beernuts / 03/06/2012 at 6:53am / United States / Health
by FootyFoot / 03/06/2012 at 6:50am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML
by Shan007tjuuh / 03/06/2012 at 3:57am / Netherlands / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
by BlueBirdWings / 03/06/2012 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML
by dragynfyre / 03/06/2012 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Work
by goldfish / 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML
by asdfBUTT / 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden… Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it.… Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided…