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certde

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certde

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  • Number of visits : 1250
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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certde's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML

#7895812
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33128) - you deserved it (3966)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:35am - love - by boostedsaab - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28692) - you deserved it (23694)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML

#7889872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7046) - you deserved it (61332)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:12pm - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

#7870282
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (7185)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had lunch with a co-worker, and after having a good talk and enjoying each others company, we got up to leave. Right before we said goodbye, she looked me right in the face and looking legitimately confused said "you know, I really don't understand why no one at work likes you." FML

#7865660
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (2265)

On 02/04/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by crazyclumzy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

#7780958
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33178) - you deserved it (3618)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

#7776158
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11224) - you deserved it (33089)

On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11614) - you deserved it (45827)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (32967)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML

#7738687
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31336) - you deserved it (2330)

On 01/31/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

#7732891
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6213) - you deserved it (83023)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my boss' office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him of a new message. FML

#7671025
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30780) - you deserved it (4361)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:33am - work - by boredatwork (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

#7662732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27905) - you deserved it (1850)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - health - by sixxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5929) - you deserved it (26106)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31837) - you deserved it (6393)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)



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