Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

certde

Search for a member

certde

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1227
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

certde's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

certde's favorite FMLs

Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML

#8469374
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (2038)

On 02/20/2010 at 3:20am - misc - by deadandwasted (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20274) - you deserved it (3319)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

#8402650
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35034) - you deserved it (2674)

On 02/18/2010 at 8:20am - love - by merse - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML

#8395812
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24953) - you deserved it (3448)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:31am - work - by buttcrack (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML

#8370926
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28257) - you deserved it (4851)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:05am - misc - by juwkgo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

#8341933
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (5359)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirts reflection. FML

#8324866
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6016) - you deserved it (30663)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:23am - work - by 3Airwalk3 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30300) - you deserved it (2469)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22225) - you deserved it (6498)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20430) - you deserved it (18277)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, we had our second snow day in a row, something that never happens. So while the rest of school got to sleep late, I had to wake up early, get dressed, and go to my bus stop because my mom didn't believe me. FML

#8153110
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24910) - you deserved it (2692)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by goestoschoolonsnowdays - United States (New York)

Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML

#8012707
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (1717)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by dmachin - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad and I had an argument. Then we went outside to shovel the snow out of the driveway. I heard him yelling and figured he was just yelling at me some more, so I turned my iPod up so I couldn't hear him anymore. Turns out he had fallen, cracked a rib, and needed help up. FML

#8008205
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9447) - you deserved it (38163)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:19am - misc - by skinsfan7592 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41533) - you deserved it (2104)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25096) - you deserved it (12890)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: