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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28020) - you deserved it (2712)
On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (2442)
On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33117) - you deserved it (4966)
On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)
Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34789) - you deserved it (2648)
On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States
Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34789) - you deserved it (2648)
On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8408) - you deserved it (38246)
On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my daughter what time it was. She stared at the clock for several seconds before muttering, "I don't know". She's 14 years old and on the honour roll, and yet she can't tell the time on an analogue clock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20901) - you deserved it (8449)
On 07/01/2011 at 7:12pm - kids - by sadmother (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29396) - you deserved it (3707)
On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)
Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34760) - you deserved it (3141)
On 07/01/2011 at 5:12am - love - by single (man) - China (Guangdong)
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51999) - you deserved it (5654)
On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32656) - you deserved it (11850)
On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14088) - you deserved it (46346)
On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36453) - you deserved it (1918)
Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36453) - you deserved it (1918)
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (12853)
On 06/25/2011 at 2:02am - love - by cek4uytp - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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