Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

caylierawr

Search for a member

caylierawr
  • Town/Country : Texas, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 January 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 2274
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About caylierawr : Beautiful Soul :)

caylierawr's last visitors

Cristian89_DoubleJ_YNWAuenuo12taylor21398the_rude_dudecombsie20BryankaozTrollx

caylierawr's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of caylierawr's badges

caylierawr's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26539) - you deserved it (20627)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22427) - you deserved it (5961)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45069) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35657) - you deserved it (6345)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I overheard my mom telling my younger sister not to use my razors because she "doesn't know what I may have." FML

#18604441
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20540) - you deserved it (3393)

On 12/25/2011 at 2:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (2030)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21140) - you deserved it (12391)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50959) - you deserved it (5171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (5012)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML

#18284255
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20525) - you deserved it (2657)

On 11/18/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Trey - United States (Texas)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33868) - you deserved it (18245)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML

#18209020
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28053) - you deserved it (2580)

On 11/10/2011 at 9:35am - money - by Agathus (man) - United Arab Emirates

Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML

#18206362
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27057) - you deserved it (3347)

On 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm - misc - by Noslo (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38890) - you deserved it (3511)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60372) - you deserved it (4436)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: