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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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carolina776

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carolina776
  • Town/Country : Pittsburgh, America
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 213
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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carolina776's favorite FMLs

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

#6354900 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (30419) - you deserved it (1802)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the old folk's home where I work as a housekeeper, a resident was holding herself on the way to the bathroom. I hoped she wouldn't leave a mess. She made it just fine. I was then informed that she had left a crap trail from the couch, more than 20ft away. FML

#6351075 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (16985) - you deserved it (1490)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:17am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (31533) - you deserved it (1100)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I heard a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML

#6340550 (40)

I agree, your life sucks (16197) - you deserved it (4618)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:56am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML

#6088334 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (24549) - you deserved it (4926)

On 10/31/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by trick or not treat - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML

#5602388 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (3944) - you deserved it (21822)

On 10/02/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by abrazama (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, while shopping at Victoria's Secret with my friend, I saw a man holding a lacy bra up to his chest. When my friend and I passed by, I whispered, "Ew, what is that perv doing?" The "guy" immediately turned around and snarled, "I'm a woman, you little bitch," and threw her bra at my face. FML

#4990557 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (7122) - you deserved it (42961)

On 09/02/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by lifeishorrible (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (69769) - you deserved it (14574)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (138255) - you deserved it (18736)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363109) - you deserved it (401459)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 year old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML

#154710 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (45537) - you deserved it (4992)

On 02/27/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by stpry of my life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (929)

I agree, your life sucks (419991) - you deserved it (30699)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (4147) - you deserved it (16695)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (46221) - you deserved it (5827)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)