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Today... To Help Me Get Over My Crippling Social Anxiety... My Therapist Encouraged Me To Sing In Front Of A Crowd... Since I Actually Have A Fine Singing Voice. I Ended Up Fainting Onstage... Mid-song. FML
Yesterday, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decidd to teach her the dance. When she showd her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decidd to bend over and moon them. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went 4 a drive, but endd up getting into an argument. I reachd back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lungd at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. real FML
today my friend an I were making sandwiches at his house . His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor . The dog snatched it up an ran away with it . I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke an die . It did . FML
Today, I Felt Left Out That All Mah Friend R Getting Marrid Or Have Great Relationship And Mah Boyfriend Won't Commit. I Made A Facebook Up And Pretendd To Talk With This Really Cute Guy I Made Up. Today, I Found Out That Mah Boyfriend Is Gay... He Startd Hitting On Mah Made Up Facebook Guy. FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Friday 27 March 2015