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carlgl

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carlgl's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up at 2:30 AM. Thinking I was going to be late for my 3:30 AM flight, I rushed into the bathroom to shower. As I came out of the shower, I slipped and broke my arm. I then realized my flight is tomorrow. FML

#7384100
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28084) - you deserved it (7907)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

#7263195
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5526) - you deserved it (38010)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Lady (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw what I thought was a gallon jug of water. Trying to do something spontaneous and fun, I took my hardest swing at it to see how far I could kick it. It was frozen solid. I broke my foot. FML

#7261047
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6532) - you deserved it (37510)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:46pm - misc - by tnt007 - France

Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML

#7229680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22427) - you deserved it (5372)

On 01/09/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by warningxxLidell (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (3508)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36488) - you deserved it (2718)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night. FML

#7050852
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32593) - you deserved it (4908)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:01am - love - by 12345678 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

#6896852
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10305) - you deserved it (60331)

On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

#6789121
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33091) - you deserved it (5345)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:57am - work - by Brittanyy_leigh (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13869) - you deserved it (34936)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after burning all my past-papers, books and notes in celebration of finishing maths forever, I found out I have to re-take my maths exam to get the minimum grade for college. FML

#6491389
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (43891)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:16am - misc - by NickC - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11876) - you deserved it (48264)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boss called me into her office to tell me I needed to mind my own business and not question everything my newest co-worker does. Yesterday, I stopped the new girl from giving $6,000 to the wrong person. I was fired on the spot. The new girl was promoted into my job. FML

#6400678
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37195) - you deserved it (2514)

On 11/22/2009 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

#6391764
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23372) - you deserved it (13633)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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