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carlgl

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  • Number of visits : 1682
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carlgl's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML

#8370926
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28204) - you deserved it (4848)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:05am - misc - by juwkgo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38011) - you deserved it (3357)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML

#8199501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18848) - you deserved it (5527)

On 02/13/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by bcca - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

#8012702
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5600) - you deserved it (41601)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while on my way to the break room, it seemed as if everyone was staring at me and giving me odd looks. I asked my friend, "Did I get prettier overnight or something?" She answered, "No, your shirt is just see-through." FML

#8011432
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8891) - you deserved it (26151)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

#8005552
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26869) - you deserved it (10703)

On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

#7957941
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23738) - you deserved it (5409)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Bruja5 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML

#7873288
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28696) - you deserved it (4204)

On 02/04/2010 at 9:52am - love - by EchoDearEcho (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

#7613862
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (3338)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30566) - you deserved it (4349)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62888) - you deserved it (6221)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

#7499044
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28382) - you deserved it (2301)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML

#7467735
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (2396)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

#7445889
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28703) - you deserved it (1951)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

#7395726
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42324) - you deserved it (2152)

On 01/17/2010 at 9:41am - misc - by forgottendaughter (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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