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Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (5084)
On 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by sarahfromthesouth - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57426) - you deserved it (4262)
On 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15684) - you deserved it (8260)
On 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I woke up next to a woman nearly twice my age. I don't know how to tell her it was drunken sex and not the beginning of a relationship. But I have to come up with something soon as I work with her Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9027) - you deserved it (33371)
On 04/11/2010 at 7:54am - intimacy - by John doe - United States (Utah)
Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31695) - you deserved it (2556)
On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26361) - you deserved it (3520)
On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17159) - you deserved it (3658)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28919) - you deserved it (2293)
On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4001) - you deserved it (30261)
On 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, after celebrating my birthday yesterday, getting really drunk, I woke up naked in the bathroom at my girlfriend's house. Why did I wake up? Her father walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5427) - you deserved it (17142)
On 03/02/2010 at 8:42am - misc - by littmild (man) - Norway (Telemark)
Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23682) - you deserved it (2083)
Today, I found out all the money my dad has been saving in the bank for me since birth has all been spent, by my mother who I haven't seen or talked to in about two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (1055)
On 02/26/2010 at 12:04am - money - by Julia - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4005) - you deserved it (28527)
On 02/25/2010 at 7:14pm - health - by djshahso - United States
Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (1185)
On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)
Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (4257)
On 02/17/2010 at 10:05am - misc - by juwkgo (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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