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carlgl

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carlgl

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  • Number of visits : 1690
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carlgl's favorite FMLs

Today, I went camping with my husband. We drove 11 hours to his favourite site before he remembered he didn't put the tent in the car. FML

#11374719
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (5332)

On 06/22/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by angry - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML

#11056176
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37445) - you deserved it (6728)

On 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by sarahfromthesouth - United States (Texas)

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

#10675411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20716) - you deserved it (10800)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up next to a woman nearly twice my age. I don't know how to tell her it was drunken sex and not the beginning of a relationship. But I have to come up with something soon as I work with her Monday. FML

#9799109
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10848) - you deserved it (38350)

On 04/11/2010 at 7:54am - intimacy - by John doe - United States (Utah)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36690) - you deserved it (2920)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (4587)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22629) - you deserved it (4882)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

#8948216
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34667) - you deserved it (2969)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML

#8867961
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5682) - you deserved it (42447)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, after celebrating my birthday yesterday, getting really drunk, I woke up naked in the bathroom at my girlfriend's house. Why did I wake up? Her father walked in. FML

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

#8767827
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29627) - you deserved it (2778)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by Celeste - Singapore

Today, I found out all the money my dad has been saving in the bank for me since birth has all been spent, by my mother who I haven't seen or talked to in about two years. FML

#8654790
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28444) - you deserved it (1565)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:04am - money - by Julia - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

#8646010
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5767) - you deserved it (39733)

On 02/25/2010 at 7:14pm - health - by djshahso - United States

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (1740)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)



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