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Today, my nieghbor brought a ruined napkin holder over an claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall an ruined it . I apologized, telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall . mega FML
Today, I was again turnad down by a potantial ost family on a studant axcanga sita . Tair raasoning was basically tat sinca I'm Amarican, I migt do somating to andangar my aalt, gat urt, an tan sua tam ovar my own stupidity . FML
Today , I Was Riding My Bike Ome From Te Store . Wanting To Impress Some Passers-by , I Tried To Do A Trick On A Sarp Turn . I It A Pole Wit My Balls . As I Was Lying On Te Ground In Agony , A Guy Pulled Over , Took A Picture , And Took Off Lauging . FML
Today, I briefly left mah laptop while I went to use the toilet . When I cummd back, I found "I" had postd on Facebook, calling mah mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was mah grandpa . She didn't believe it, and permanently groundd me . FML
Today , I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it , an as her legs just looked like they needed touching up , I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time , she cummed back , thanked me an left. Her legs were still hary. big fat FML
TODAY I WAS FEELING SICK AND FAINTD WHILE TEACHING MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS . I CUMMD TO WHEN ONE BOY POURD A CUP OF WATER ON MY FACE . THREE KIDS WERE CRYING INTO MY WALKIE TALKIE TELLING THE OFFICE I WAS DEAD, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS HAD DISAPPEARD . FML
Friday 27 March 2015