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carlgl

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carlgl's favorite FMLs

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58187) - you deserved it (5175)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22588) - you deserved it (35872)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML

#20602988
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (12681)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42303) - you deserved it (12386)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

#20602636
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23646) - you deserved it (46352)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Bulgaria (Sofiya)

Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML

#20602567
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52438) - you deserved it (3487)

On 04/18/2013 at 4:34pm - misc - by bhnja_ (man) - Philippines (Mandaue)

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43352) - you deserved it (5215)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22222) - you deserved it (65519)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

#20559286
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36629) - you deserved it (2912)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

#20557644
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (6494)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:20am - misc - by theawesome129 - Canada

Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML

#20557395
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (11631)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

#20557361
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32074) - you deserved it (5894)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:14am - love - by Beestings (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43151) - you deserved it (3205)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48267) - you deserved it (3073)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35199) - you deserved it (8961)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)



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