Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2681
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About canadian_ftw : Hello, I'm Sarah. I'm 15, and I enjoy playing oboe. I like Guns n Roses, Aerosmith, The Beatles, AC/DC, and many others.
I like Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Family Guy, and Friends.
Message me if you would like to know anything else.

canadian_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>Malteser95</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 10:33am<b>kiwi15499</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 11:53pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 1:16pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 7:30am<b>klc20071989</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:27pm<b>IJG2000</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 3:38am<b>Allusivness</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:37pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:54am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 2:50pm<b>Divergentlover</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:06am<b>infected150</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:13pm<b>zieelona</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:38pm<b>_powerslave666</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:18pm<b>EllieMay42</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:08am<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:45am<b>_Willa_</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:37pm<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:47pm

Fucked!<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 10:54am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:27am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:50pm

canadian_ftw's FML badges


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of canadian_ftw's badges

canadian_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (108991) - you deserved it (5773)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML


I agree, your life sucks (263445) - you deserved it (34944)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16029) - you deserved it (81602)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58637) - you deserved it (9289)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by bu09 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML


I agree, your life sucks (1225206) - you deserved it (135797)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13413) - you deserved it (42495)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by AwesomePGnarles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25046) - you deserved it (18240)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:48am - health - by mrb72 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (6219)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7665) - you deserved it (55685)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Timmy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21626) - you deserved it (2998)

On 12/29/2008 at 1:09am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: "At least someone is having fun!" It was my boss. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9068) - you deserved it (32401)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: