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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3347
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About canadian_ftw : Hello, I'm Sarah. I'm 15, and I enjoy playing oboe. I like Guns n Roses, Aerosmith, The Beatles, AC/DC, and many others.
I like Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Family Guy, and Friends.
Message me if you would like to know anything else.

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Fucked!<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 10:54am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:27am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:50pm

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canadian_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor for a sore throat. The doctor wasn't wearing any shoes. He said that he doesn't believe in pharmaceuticals and that it's 'all about vitamins', and he gave me a flyer for a vitamin mail order company. Then he showed me photos of his holidays. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2011 at 12:38am / Australia / Health

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

by rb / 05/01/2011 at 2:02am / United States / Animals

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

by sadcase / 04/12/2011 at 10:01am / Australia / Health


by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I was fired. My boss told me via email that it was because I "don't have enough experience with fun spiritual." Uh, what? FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2011 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2010 at 4:17am / New Zealand (Otago) / Health

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 1:38am / Iraq / Work

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 3:01am / Mexico (Morelos) / Intimacy

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Florida) / Geek

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 1:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

by yay! / 11/08/2010 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Animals