calilovesneb

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calilovesneb

20Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 May 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7773
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About calilovesneb : .

calilovesneb's page activity

Visits<b>Bamidgey</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 10:51pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 6:08pm<b>hman1025</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 3:47pm<b>legoman213579</b> - the 11/12/2016 at 9:10pm<b>trex19</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 11:19am<b>sss12</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 7:12am<b>stormrunner987</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 3:06pm<b>TheGoatTamer</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 7:42am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 1:24am<b>DeMamp</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 3:44am<b>footinthemouth07</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 8:52pm<b>16416</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 10:21pm<b>djrodcol</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 11:01am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 6:45pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 5:49am<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 4:15pm<b>snowmanIam</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 2:39am<b>soodytheboi</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 4:38pm

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 7:24am<b>AlexOrban</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 3:08am<b>billboob</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:08am<b>ZiaBerry</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 9:34am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 5:22pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 8:30am<b>FieldLeftBlank</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 12:18am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:37pm<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:27pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:10am<b>GeorgiaBea</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:54am<b>kieraphernelia</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:47am<b>GalaxyShots</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:45pm<b>arano</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:25am<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:20am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:59am

calilovesneb's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of calilovesneb's badges

calilovesneb's favorite FMLs

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2012 at 4:21am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML

by HappyMan / 08/02/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

by danonno / 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

by skrillexblewme / 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

by Kelly / 08/02/2012 at 4:11am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 1:51am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

by joleezad5 / 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML

by mac_miller55 / 07/31/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

by mcase / 07/31/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML

by kumbuck3t15 / 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 1:27am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 12:25am / Denmark (Sjelland) / Love

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

by clayton / 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy