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Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19467) - you deserved it (2362)
On 07/26/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Just Me (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23925) - you deserved it (3039)
On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23925) - you deserved it (3039)
On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18337) - you deserved it (1332)
On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2952) - you deserved it (32872)
On 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)
Today, I had to very clearly explain to my mother, in public, why you cannot get cancer from eating too much ketchup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12376) - you deserved it (1357)
On 07/19/2012 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19466) - you deserved it (2061)
On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (31193)
Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14865) - you deserved it (1079)
On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15927) - you deserved it (3521)
On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)
Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4587) - you deserved it (12997)
On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7723) - you deserved it (21678)
On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was at work, photographing a baby boy. I grabbed a bench for him to use to hold himself upright. His mom asked if she should hold him instead, but I told her he'd be fine. Two seconds later, he fell backwards and brought the bench down on top of him. There goes my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7206) - you deserved it (18749)
On 07/11/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by almost jobless - United States
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13106) - you deserved it (1389)
On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I've been in love with for three years. Her response was to well up, start crying, and ask me why I had to have chosen her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19293) - you deserved it (1661)
On 06/26/2012 at 1:18pm - love - by Oraashi (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Monday 20 May 2013
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