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Mobility
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Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (2236)
On 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by danonno (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16546) - you deserved it (1327)
On 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm - misc - by skrillexblewme - United States
Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (2314)
On 08/02/2012 at 4:11am - love - by Kelly - United States (California)
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19647) - you deserved it (1619)
On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16887) - you deserved it (2553)
On 08/01/2012 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14682) - you deserved it (1602)
On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16253) - you deserved it (1516)
On 07/31/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by mac_miller55 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (4035)
On 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20316) - you deserved it (3057)
On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)
Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4649) - you deserved it (13258)
On 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm - misc - by kumbuck3t15 (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (3031)
On 07/29/2012 at 1:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (2808)
On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)
Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
I agree, your life sucks (7979) - you deserved it (27373)
On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18071) - you deserved it (5177)
On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)
Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16116) - you deserved it (2154)
On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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