About calilovesneb : .
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24383) - you deserved it (1762)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (1362)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19995) - you deserved it (4783)
On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13389) - you deserved it (1381)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by calivianya (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (225)
On 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13796) - you deserved it (1680)
On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (3096)
On 08/22/2012 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by Confused (woman) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17847) - you deserved it (3931)
On 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm - animals - by goodbyefriend - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20827) - you deserved it (5847)
On 08/21/2012 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Sexting (man) - United States
Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16761) - you deserved it (2069)
On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15206) - you deserved it (1612)
On 08/20/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31153) - you deserved it (1491)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom bitched me out, calling me a selfish pig and saying that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I'm so conceited. All of this because I started watching the latest episodes of Breaking Bad without her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14161) - you deserved it (2307)
On 08/17/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by elijah (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19585) - you deserved it (1881)
On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21780) - you deserved it (1118)
On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
