Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

calilovesneb

Search for a member

calilovesneb

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 May 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4544
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About calilovesneb : .

calilovesneb's page activity

Visits<b>edenxero</b> - 5 hours ago<b>thejellyfish</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 12:02am<b>FieldLeftBlank</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 6:16pm<b>ragnarok9</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 9:52am<b>carbonbasedcynic</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:22am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:19am<b>MdMan2</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:32pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:35pm<b>last_kings84</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:06pm<b>TacoloverSWE</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:39am<b>exoticDeath</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:03pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 9:11pm<b>user109012</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:43am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 12:37pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:20pm<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:08pm<b>whycantisignup</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 9:07pm<b>Pauschinator</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:17pm

Fucked!<b>FieldLeftBlank</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 12:18am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:37pm<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:27pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:10am<b>GeorgiaBea</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:54am<b>kieraphernelia</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:47am<b>GalaxyShots</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:45pm<b>arano</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:25am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:27pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 1:35am<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:20am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:59am

calilovesneb's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of calilovesneb's badges

calilovesneb's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33567) - you deserved it (4214)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

#16019768
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16784) - you deserved it (66966)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30707) - you deserved it (4182)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML

#15366691
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36801) - you deserved it (9234)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by emm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

#14478840
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (4755)

On 01/05/2011 at 9:19pm - kids - by yingyang2 - United States

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

#14191848
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42377) - you deserved it (9869)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

#13873545
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41768) - you deserved it (8294)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

#13734047
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27242) - you deserved it (15031)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:18am - kids - by Username - France

Today, it is my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

#13589791
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (3002)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm - animals - by sambo99 - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (4212)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to go to counselling as my mother thinks I have an eating disorder. All because I didn't want to eat the crap supermarket lasagna she bought for $2. FML

#12173397
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32936) - you deserved it (3965)

On 07/28/2010 at 9:24pm - health - by dimtsis (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML

#12141202
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (7473)

On 07/27/2010 at 6:07am - misc - by mauimango7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53388) - you deserved it (4443)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

#10812675
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12458) - you deserved it (52999)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:15am - love - by TheSickness (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

#8512491
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11200) - you deserved it (41119)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: