Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

calilovesneb

Search for a member

calilovesneb
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, The United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 May 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 1395
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About calilovesneb : .

calilovesneb's last visitors

BryankaozbackwoodsartdivaisallwaysmeijaypIn_some_bullshitYNWA

calilovesneb's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of calilovesneb's badges

calilovesneb's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80037) - you deserved it (12429)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

#1225689
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61218) - you deserved it (6688)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML

#780789
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48281) - you deserved it (4019)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a 7 year old girl came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML

#696283
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197587) - you deserved it (18166)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

#677101
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59798) - you deserved it (8203)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:32am - kids - by Chubs (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

#385817
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95207) - you deserved it (32481)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by badbirthday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

#98497
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73545) - you deserved it (5503)

On 02/21/2009 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by pchemist (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

#3797
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12835) - you deserved it (3160)

On 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ex-boyfriend who I am still in love with sends me a text message that says "I miss you, baby". It turns out my name comes right after his girlfriend's name on his contact list. FML

#2236
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16139) - you deserved it (333)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by yeah... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

#705
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15430) - you deserved it (2161)

On 01/05/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Charly - Sent from mobile version



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by