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Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17409) - you deserved it (6109)
On 01/27/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by garage - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was in a shoe store. I picked up a shoe so I could look at it, but when I put it back on the shelf, the whole shelf fell down, making all the shoes fall to the ground. The people behind the counter started clapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17597) - you deserved it (2938)
On 01/01/2010 at 9:45pm - misc - by shoes (woman) - United States
Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28007) - you deserved it (9092)
On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I finally came home from a semester of college, and all my parents and sister can talk about is how bad my acne has gotten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20308) - you deserved it (1931)
On 12/19/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by honutattoo - United States (California)
Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I decide to take a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken. Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk and decided to swap it with expired chicken broth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6579) - you deserved it (26107)
On 12/10/2009 at 12:41am - work - by souped (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31859) - you deserved it (2161)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36022) - you deserved it (1424)
On 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to a friend of mine over webcam, when I saw a scary looking man in a grey hoodie creeping around in the background. I loudly proclaimed "Paige! Who is that creepy looking guy behind you?" Turns out it was her mom. She heard everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16187) - you deserved it (7301)
On 11/12/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Sursion (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29987) - you deserved it (9394)
On 09/24/2009 at 12:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40193) - you deserved it (4990)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37979) - you deserved it (4121)
On 08/12/2009 at 3:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46904) - you deserved it (362)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (2456)
On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (48617)
On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53475) - you deserved it (6541)
On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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