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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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calilovesneb's favorite FMLs
by wallets / 02/29/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 02/28/2012 at 1:20pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML
by Kovu / 02/27/2012 at 2:08am / Reserved / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/26/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML
by fmlsomuch / 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm / Japan / Miscellaneous
by jj159 / 02/25/2012 at 1:40pm / United States / Kids
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
by badmom / 02/25/2012 at 6:25am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/25/2012 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML
by Lovernotafighter / 02/24/2012 at 6:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by wobble... / 02/23/2012 at 6:29am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Blueshock08 / 02/23/2012 at 2:03am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy
by Anonymoosey / 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One… Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do… Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open…