calilovesneb

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calilovesneb

18Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 May 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5666
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About calilovesneb : .

calilovesneb's page activity

Visits<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 11:09pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 10:48am<b>TheRealStunts</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:48am<b>Addiepop</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 4:15pm<b>thewoodinator96</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:50am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 2:53pm<b>CyanChameleon</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 5:03am<b>billboob</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:07pm<b>roman11</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 8:09am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 6:26pm<b>ZiaBerry</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 3:34am<b>Jeremybking</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 11:04pm<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 7:54am<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:00pm<b>Gooddrark</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 5:25pm<b>ImaginaryFuture</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 3:38am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:22pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:10pm

Fucked!<b>billboob</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:08am<b>ZiaBerry</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 9:34am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 5:22pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 8:30am<b>FieldLeftBlank</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 12:18am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:37pm<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:27pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:10am<b>GeorgiaBea</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:54am<b>kieraphernelia</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:47am<b>GalaxyShots</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:45pm<b>arano</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:25am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:27pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:20am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:59am

calilovesneb's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of calilovesneb's badges

calilovesneb's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML

by noneedtostress / 03/17/2012 at 11:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my dad informed me that my prom dress makes me look chubby from the side, gives me "back fat", and that I wouldn't want to go to prom looking like that. I tried to ignore his hurtful comments and tell myself I was beautiful. Then the clasp broke. FML

by Winx / 03/16/2012 at 3:13am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

by StinkyandStupid / 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 7:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

by Bebefer / 03/15/2012 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

by CallaC / 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

by me / 03/14/2012 at 11:19am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

by Simms / 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm / United States / Work

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 9:20am / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

by Sharibabi65 / 03/07/2012 at 1:16am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML

by Alex / 03/06/2012 at 7:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy