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calilovesneb's favorite FMLs
by feminismlol / 04/06/2012 at 12:45am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML
by tatatest / 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by tessamarque / 04/05/2012 at 11:07am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals
Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML
by Anonymous / 04/05/2012 at 8:36am / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
by sad / 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love
Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML
by greeneyedpothead / 03/29/2012 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I paid top dollar for an Italian soda that ended up consisting almost entirely of ice. When I complained, the girl insisted that the soda water stopped the ice from melting. She said she didn't see what the problem was, and threatened to have me thrown out if I didn't "simmer down." FML
by Sharkie49 / 03/26/2012 at 6:33pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
by Atheist / 03/22/2012 at 12:56am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/20/2012 at 7:57am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Animals
by CA19oo / 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Rapunzel / 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by cachucy / 03/18/2012 at 11:04am / United States (Illinois) / Work
- Today, I showed my group the work I'd done while they were absent. One girl took it and said she'd… Today I had to pick up my son from soccer practice. I saw my son from my car, so I said "Get in the… Today, what started with a dream about playing soccer, ended with me kicking the wall by my bed at…