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Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25236) - you deserved it (1329)
On 03/15/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by Bebefer - United States (California)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28247) - you deserved it (1763)
On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15324) - you deserved it (2309)
On 03/14/2012 at 11:19am - money - by me - United States (Florida)
Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12478) - you deserved it (4174)
On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States
Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (3933)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9799) - you deserved it (38432)
On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19136) - you deserved it (4424)
On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States
Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31759) - you deserved it (2043)
On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (1196)
On 03/06/2012 at 7:34pm - misc - by Alex (woman) - United States
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12504) - you deserved it (29417)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19438) - you deserved it (1487)
On 02/29/2012 at 2:47am - work - by wallets - United States
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23407) - you deserved it (2013)
On 02/28/2012 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15964) - you deserved it (1731)
Today, while I was eating lunch at work, I practically had a panic attack because I'd forgotten to feed my Neopet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6954) - you deserved it (22296)
On 02/26/2012 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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