Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

calilovesneb

Search for a member

calilovesneb

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 May 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4504
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About calilovesneb : .

calilovesneb's page activity

Visits<b>carbonbasedcynic</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:22am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:19am<b>MdMan2</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:32pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:35pm<b>last_kings84</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:06pm<b>TacoloverSWE</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:39am<b>exoticDeath</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:03pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 9:11pm<b>user109012</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:43am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 12:37pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:20pm<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:08pm<b>whycantisignup</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 9:07pm<b>Pauschinator</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:17pm<b>CassidyQueen98</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:10pm<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:48pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:46pm<b>thetacosniper</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 8:58pm

Fucked!<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:37pm<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:27pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:10am<b>GeorgiaBea</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:54am<b>kieraphernelia</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:47am<b>GalaxyShots</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:45pm<b>arano</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:25am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:27pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 1:35am<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:20am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:59am

calilovesneb's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of calilovesneb's badges

calilovesneb's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML

#19470748
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9800) - you deserved it (44283)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML

#19460207
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9670) - you deserved it (27779)

On 04/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML

#19460120
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25397) - you deserved it (3898)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32229) - you deserved it (20447)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML

#19451298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (4597)

On 04/11/2012 at 7:05pm - health - by clinictime - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

#19449601
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33719) - you deserved it (5454)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37991) - you deserved it (2952)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML

#19436795
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26345) - you deserved it (3704)

On 04/09/2012 at 2:18pm - love - by missclitter - United States

Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML

#19435990
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18793) - you deserved it (8610)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:22am - animals - by Ew. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

#19434982
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10766) - you deserved it (34398)

On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML

#19429036
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (6501)

On 04/08/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by jess - United States (Ohio)

Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML

#19421623
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10728) - you deserved it (47045)

On 04/07/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by bman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML

#19416879
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38758) - you deserved it (6544)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by Sadboy (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: