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calilovesneb

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calilovesneb
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, The United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 May 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 2347
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About calilovesneb : .

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calilovesneb's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (3368)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22085) - you deserved it (6698)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML

#19582200
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (4966)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:01pm - love - by Bridget (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10325) - you deserved it (29894)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33308) - you deserved it (9693)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

#19536517
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (3819)

On 04/27/2012 at 8:04am - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

#19533059
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20434) - you deserved it (3036) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Magicgwen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML

#19531707
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26439) - you deserved it (3426)

On 04/26/2012 at 10:43am - love - by Aus (woman) - United States

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

#19531313
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21932) - you deserved it (1489)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22837) - you deserved it (7433)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

#19522939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18684) - you deserved it (12784)

On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

#19517989
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (3958)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (3058)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27255) - you deserved it (2370)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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