calilovesneb

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calilovesneb

19Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 May 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6349
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About calilovesneb : .

calilovesneb's page activity

Visits<b>djrodcol</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 11:01am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 6:45pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 5:49am<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 4:15pm<b>snowmanIam</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 2:39am<b>soodytheboi</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 4:38pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 11:16am<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 12:41pm<b>Noobish_Elk</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 7:24pm<b>egnur_mas</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 7:21am<b>AlexOrban</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:09pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 11:09pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 10:48am<b>TheRealStunts</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:48am<b>Addiepop</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 4:15pm<b>thewoodinator96</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:50am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 2:53pm<b>CyanChameleon</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 5:03am

Fucked!<b>AlexOrban</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 3:08am<b>billboob</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:08am<b>ZiaBerry</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 9:34am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 5:22pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 8:30am<b>FieldLeftBlank</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 12:18am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:37pm<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:27pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:10am<b>GeorgiaBea</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:54am<b>kieraphernelia</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:47am<b>GalaxyShots</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:45pm<b>arano</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:25am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:27pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:20am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:59am

calilovesneb's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of calilovesneb's badges

calilovesneb's favorite FMLs

Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML

by etgohome / 08/25/2013 at 8:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

by JustSayNo / 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

by fml / 08/10/2013 at 6:48am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2013 at 11:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

by cheated / 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, after being unemployed for almost two years, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from my bedroom window. FML

by yoshithecat / 07/19/2013 at 8:31am / United Kingdom (Slough) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 1:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids