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cabbagebrain

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cabbagebrain

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 April 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 622
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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cabbagebrain's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

#19394272
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20787) - you deserved it (2115)

On 04/02/2012 at 9:37am - misc - by Deadman (man) - United States

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

#19392856
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (1987)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (2935)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

#19369663
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20539) - you deserved it (1743)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by yelyah - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23344) - you deserved it (2975)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35372) - you deserved it (2665)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

#19287473
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20805) - you deserved it (1767)

On 03/16/2012 at 5:02am - misc - by disgusted - United States

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

#19276990
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (3035)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

#19276871
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20814) - you deserved it (2229)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:38am - love - by mel_bear_ (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

#19276451
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25914) - you deserved it (2309)

On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28956) - you deserved it (18120)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (7442)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

#19269452
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37306) - you deserved it (2040)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Rynne S. - United States (Colorado)

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21866) - you deserved it (3293)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)



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