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cabbagebrain

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cabbagebrain

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 April 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 581
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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cabbagebrain's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37549) - you deserved it (3532)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37549) - you deserved it (3532)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30768) - you deserved it (2597)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24613) - you deserved it (2927)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

#19469757
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24192) - you deserved it (5748)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

#19466099
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23872) - you deserved it (1777)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by keyless (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13319) - you deserved it (54555) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (19210)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (2427)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to put my bra on. FML

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (3863)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7674) - you deserved it (35836)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)



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