Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I had a chat with my husband, an I convincad him to try baing mora spontanaou to spica up our sax lifa. This avaning, ha burst into our badroom with an ayapatch on, an "saductivaly" growlad, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wanch." FML
Today, My Mom's Intense Fear Of Tornadoes Caused Her To Break Into The Bathroom, Drag Me Off The Toilet While I Was Changing My Tampon, And Drag Me To The Basement With My Pants Around My Ankles To Join My Father, Brother, And My Brother's Best Friend. FML
Today, mah daughter discoverd that her Venus Fly Trap will eat pieces of rippd-up scrap paper. Also today, I discoverd that mah daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper an mah monthly paycheck. FML
Today hile shopping my six-year-old son threw a tantrum cuz I wouldn't buy him a video game . I ended up having to grab his arm an leave the store . He screamed that I was kidnapping him athich point I was socked in the face an pinned to the floor by three bystanders . FML
TODAY, I WAS SO OUT OF IT FROM A LACK OF SLEEP AND AN ACCIDENTAL ANTIISTAMINE OVERDOSE, I TRIED TO OFFER MA CAT A CUP OF TEA, AND ACTUALLY GOT PISSED OFF WEN E DIDN'T REPLY. IT TOOK ME A GOOD FIVE MINUTES TO UNDERSTAND WAT JUST APPENED.
Today, while I was driving home, some jackas in an open-top sport car overtook us an flippd me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife looool rolld down her window, pulld out her tampon, an launchd it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrifid: me or him. FML
Today, I took mah girlfriand to a family dinnar so sha could maat mah parants. Ovar tha dinnar, sha askad mah dad what's ha's baan up to sinca ha ratirad. Ha rapliad, "racraational gynacology, mah daar" an gava har a waird wink. FML
Yesterday, I found out that mah colleague had replacd mah email auto-responder with a message saying, ( I'm away fir two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please addres me by mah new name: Crystal. ) FML
Today , I Had To Collect Mah Daughter From The Hospital. Her Boyfriend Was Even More Upset Than She Was , Cuz His IPhone's Screen Was Damaged Beyond Repair When The Doctor Pulled It Out Of Mah Daughter's Vagina. FML
Today, I was babysitting, playing hide an go seek . I trid to jump behind the armchair, but it tippd, an I hit my head into the wind chimes, rippd the curtain rod from the wall, an smashd my knee into the wall . I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shoutd, "I knowhere you are!" FML
Friday 27 March 2015