Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

burro012

Online | Search for a member

burro012

0Fucked!

burro012burro012
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 August 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7976
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About burro012 : I love playing video games.
I love to watch Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Community, Park and Recreation.
Movies are everything to me
message me if you ever want to make a new friend

burro012's page activity

Visits<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - 14 hours ago<b>cutycat136</b> - yesterday at 5:12pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:31am<b>callmeanything</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:03am<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:47pm<b>StormGirl142</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:54pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:54pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:41pm<b>meli1195</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 3:45am<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 4:28pm<b>Mercyfulsin</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 3:32am<b>jackiekramerr</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 5:55pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 1:33pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:18pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:01pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:35pm

burro012's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of burro012's badges

burro012's favorite FMLs

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9749) - you deserved it (1539)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11000) - you deserved it (23160)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, my father tried to excuse his alcoholism by saying that his stomach stops working, and he needs to drink vodka to get it started again. FML

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

#21401411
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28810) - you deserved it (4440)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

#21401155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (3435)

On 04/28/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#21401116
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27675) - you deserved it (2801)

On 04/28/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by PPP - United States

Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML

#21400980
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26551) - you deserved it (2056)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:24am - health - by vomitgirl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (21729)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, I learned that before you tell a blonde joke, you should make sure that your high school's 6'8", 275-pound, blond quarterback isn't standing behind you. FML

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22534) - you deserved it (30001)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

#21392908
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26289) - you deserved it (5117)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

#21392816
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33926) - you deserved it (2820)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:43am - love - by whymanwhy (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

#21392323
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28292) - you deserved it (2455)

On 04/12/2015 at 11:42am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: