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Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9771) - you deserved it (15638)
On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21152) - you deserved it (6595)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21151) - you deserved it (4579)
On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27521) - you deserved it (2157)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (4490)
On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29634) - you deserved it (16881)
On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States
Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22813) - you deserved it (7024)
On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States
Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30651) - you deserved it (1944)
On 10/29/2011 at 3:22am - love - by backstabbed - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21538) - you deserved it (12328)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:40pm - love - by inlovewithstupid (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31169) - you deserved it (2512)
On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48126) - you deserved it (3251)
On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39950) - you deserved it (6982)
On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)
Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (718)
On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23850) - you deserved it (3040)
On 01/02/2011 at 11:14pm - misc - by Kristin (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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