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broke_otaku's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML
by systeminitiated / 05/02/2009 at 12:55am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML
by hyper12332 / 04/29/2009 at 10:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML
by whatashame / 04/01/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,…
- Today, my boyfriend dumped me. One reason was because he couldn't have "intellectual conversations"… Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He… Today, I visited my parents with my four year old. My son started to excitedly tell his grandmother…