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Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46506) - you totally deserved it (5250)
On 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over a year is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34594) - you totally deserved it (104185)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47967) - you totally deserved it (5382)
On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42264) - you totally deserved it (18087)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58305) - you totally deserved it (4567)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was masturbating to a video a friend sent me. The girls were hot, walking out on a stage doing all sorts of sexy manuevers. The video was close to ending and the announcer in the video announced the winner. His name was Dan. It was a drag competition. My friend knew I'd whack off to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16912) - you totally deserved it (77319)
On 04/18/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by Masterbater (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16756) - you totally deserved it (250044)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad was laying down on the couch and i sat down next to him. As i was reading a text message i saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13015) - you totally deserved it (51249)
On 04/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by whatashame (woman) - United States (California)
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